If you work in HR, this post will give you nightmares. If you are an employee and you want to know how to behave at a Xmas party to ensure you don’t have a job to return to next year, you could follow the example of Mr Keenan (a former team leader at the Leighton Boral Amey Joint Venture). Amongst other things make sure you:

  1. have a few beers before you get to the party, and then have another 10 (plus some spirits) between 7pm-11pm;
  2. tell one of the General Managers for Boral (who is also on the Board) to f*ck off;
  3. tell the (female) Executive Team Coordinator that “All those Board members and managers are f*cked, they can all get f*cked and that  [Name] [LBAJV Contract Manager] is a c*nt;
  4. then with no warning whatsoever, suddenly reach forward, hold another [female] employee’s face on both sides with your hands, and kiss her on the mouth;
  5. find another female office mate, speak close to her face, use an aggressive demeanour and several times say: “I want to ask for your number, but I don’t want to be rejected”;
  6. attempt several times to touch the dimple on the chin of a different female employee despite the fact she pulled away each time; and/or…
  7. round off the night by engaging in the following exchange with yet another female employee while you wait for a taxi home:

Mr Keenan: My mission tonight is to find out what colour knickers you have on.

Ms [name]: They are white, touch my skirt and I’ll kill you.

Great response….shame it was necessary. Just to further demonstrate that he really didn’t “get it”, the whole sad and sorry saga is set out in Keenan v Leighton Boral Amey NSW Pty Ltd (yes – that’s right, Keenan sought reinstatement on the basis that his dismissal was harsh, unfair and unjust). Doh!

Creative commons acknowledgment for the photograph.

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